Just about every time I lay out my big’ol hunk’a sweet-n-tender meat in front of friends, most of them ask “How’d ya’ do THAT????”

Of course, by the time the questions start coming, everybody within sniffin’ distance already has sticky fingers and realizes that NOW is a good time for eatin’ not writin’! (Oh . . . And if it has been a good smokin’ adventure, then the Chef is probably pretty well “basted” by that time too!)

So, let me tell YOU to how to make some of the tenderest, sweetest, most finger-lickin’ good stuff to ever swing across your cute lil’ greasy lips!

1. You Gotta’ Have GOOD Meat! Outside of Texas, you probably ain’t gonna get a good full-cut brisket (about #12 - #14 lbs.) at your local grocery store meat counter. It’s time to step up and play with the big boys by visiting a local meat purveyor. My favorite purveyor is Restaurant Depot with locations around the USA (one caveat: you must possess a business license - any type - to shop here.) In central Florida you might also visit Great Western Meats (near I-4 & Kaley St.) or Royalty Foods (S.E. Orlando near the airport.)

2. This Meat Needs A Good Rub! There are number commercial rubs on the market . . . Or just toss together some brown sugar, ground black pepper, cayenne pepper, chili powder,  cumin powder, oregano, paprika, salt, and whatever the Hell else feels good at the moment. (Ladies, just stand back, your man is now multi-tasking . . . You can clean things up later!)
 
3. Massage Your Meat Well! Work your special meat rub well into every creak and crevasse on your brisket then let it sit for hour or so while prepping your grill and smoker. This is a man’s job if you want it to be done right . . . Just Sayin’!!!

4. Time To Git-R-Hot! Into the fire . . . No, not a smoker (yet), but preheat your gas (or charcoal) grill as hot it will possibly go and toss your meat in with the fatty side down. Let it get hot and the melting grease will start burning (violently so.) Don’t do this near ANY flammable structure!!! (Might want to alert nosey neighbors not to call the Fire Department.) Hell, you may even think you SHOULD call the F.D.! But all is O.K.! Once the fatty side is nice and charred, then serve yourself another shot of nerve calming fine bourbon, remember what your eyebrows used to look like and quickly (but carefully) reach into the inferno for a flippin’. Good, long, strong grill tools are a nice accessory. Let the meaty side get a nice black char as well.

Note - The searing/charring process can be a "mentally" tough task! Don't be afraid to get a solid black char all over your brisket. If will not taste "burned" after many hours smokin' . . . Your taste buds will thank you later!

5. Good Hardwood Is . . . Well . . .GOOD! Use only hardwood chunks (mesquite, hickory, oak, etc.) in your smoker. (Hint for the ladies, softwood ain’t good wood.)  Soft wood releases too many oils, bad flavors, and allows creosote to build up in your smoker. Though citrus wood is often offered at smokehouses around Florida, it is a taste that I have yet to acquire an appeal for. Just remember . . . Hardwood is Good Wood!

6. Ready For A Good Smokin’ Time! Delicately slide your meat into the warm moist box and let it start smokin’! Keep the fatty side up (some of you are more familiar with this concept in daily practice than others!) I use a “Smoke Vault” brand smoker that is large enough to accommodate full-size banquet style foil pans. I prefer to use the disposable foil pans for the remainder of the cooking process because it allows the meat to cook in it’s own juices . . . And mostly because I because I haven’t found a good woman who will clean my smoker . . . Yet!

7. Time And Temperature Please? Keeping an eye on the time, and more importantly, the temperature of both the smoker and meat can mean everything to your smokin' success! I strongly suggest using a remote-probe electronic meat thermometer to judge your progress. Keep your smoker at 225 degrees (250 degrees max.), if you can’t do that, take your smoker back and get a GOOD one! Once your meat is inside, don’t open the door for three hours (the door is shut, it ain’t going nowhere!) After prepping the remainder of your BBQ feast for the next three hours, flip your meat to lean side up. Have a cocktail, take a nap and let it smoke for three more hours. At the conclusion of six hours resting in the smokehouse, tease your meat sniffin’ friends that dinner is almost ready by taking your meat from the smoker to your preheated kitchen oven.

8. Just Getting Warmed Up! Here is where the real fun starts and meat thermometers earn their place in your chef’s arsenal. With the thermometer probe deep within the thickest part of your brisket, tightly seal the top of your pan (or tightly wrap your meat with Heavy Duty foil with a seal on both ends and at the top to hold in juices.) Set oven temperature at 250 degrees. Set your electronic meat thermometer alarm at 185 degrees. Have another cocktail and/or nap.

9. Uh-Oh . . . The Plateau!!! Is the oven not working? Is the meat thermometer broke? Nope, you’ve just hit the “Plateau”! Somewhere between the meat temperature of 140 – 160 degrees the temp will stop rising, sometimes for an hour or longer. Everything is OK!  This is the process that makes the meat fall apart when you pick it up. Just leave it alone and let it "Do it's Thang'!"

10. The Climax and Cool Down! Yep, just as in real life, ain’t nobody ready to jump and run just after a long sought and well-deserved climax! When your meat temp hits 185 degrees just open the oven door (in the winter) or leave everything sealed and set the pan in a safe place (from nibblers) to cool for a couple of hours. You will notice the meat temp will keep rising for another hour or so.

11. Worked Up A Sweat! A full brisket will release a quart or more of good smoky juice during the oven baking process. If using a foil pan this really isn’t an issue, but if you wrapped you meat in H.D. foil be very careful! Hopefully you made a pan of sorts with your foil wrap. I like to lift the brisket from it's au jus to a large cutting board for few more minutes to cool and get ready for slicing.

12. A Little Slice’o Heaven! This can be the most critical task to serving up your fine hunk’o well-smoked sweet-n-tender meat. Always, ALWAYS (do ya’ understand the seriousness here) slice across the “grain” of the meat! No, you can’t just start at one end and keep slicing all the way to the other end! Many a great brisket has been turned into “ho-hum” fare by improper slicing techniques. About halfway between the “flat” and the “point” (the thick part) the grain will change and so should your slicing. I also usually trim any excessively fatty areas and then (using a long, sharp knife) split the muscle through the ‘horizontal” fatty area near point region. This makes it easier to maintain your correct slicing angle across the meat grain.

13. Make Ya’ Wanna’ Cry! Take some good fresh white bread, slice some sweet Vidalia onions, grab a few dill pickle spears, drizzle a touch of “Sweet Baby Ray’s” gourmet sauce over your BBQ, pop open an ice-cold beer, and . . . EAT – ‘Nuff Said!

SEE . . . There’s nothing to it!

Get yourself nice big hunk of beef brisket, lay in a good supply adult beverages and assorted chef’s munchies, convince the Significant Other that you have serious “Man’s Work” to tend to for a day or so, and get started this weekend!!!

Just don’t forget to give me a shout about the time your meat goes into the oven . . . I’ll be right over!

Just Sayin’ . . . !!!

  -  Jimbo